two in one night?

le sigh*

i am constantly carrying this heavy pain in my heart. it's been about 3 years now, sometimes it subsides, today its been the strongest it's ever been in a very long time. i was doing so well, doing so well without acknowledging his existence. it is not fair that someone can waltz back into your life as they please. i forgot he existed, i almost forgot the scars between my legs, and damn technology had 2 fuck all that up. i'm thinking about changing my number.

and i need to follow through with moving for school. i've had enough heartbreak in LA

because i've lost so many friends after high school, i'm resorting to you, my little blogspot. i have no more shoulders to cry on, i'm all talked out.


i walked down ventura today. and i saw him everywhere there, in front of Aahs where we kissed for the second time....outside tilly's where he held my hand

steadily emerging with grace

i fucking feel like i'm 16 all over again. i truly wish and hope and pray i never run into him for the rest of my life. i want to ask God to erase him from my memory completely. i hope that he hates me with every inch of his soul. and i only wish the worst for him.